1 Nephi 4:6

And I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do.

faith. this is a tough topic to define. because i think to different people having faith means different things and the word faith itself is sometimes open to interpretation. this scripture was part of the lesson i taught to my girls last sunday and all week it has just really stuck with me. i pondered on all the times i just did things because i knew they were right and used my faith in Heavenly Father that he would get me through as long as i kept doing what i felt to be right. and i also pondered on all the times i've lost my faith. so i'm only human and at times i do fall flat on my face. i'll be the first one to stand up and admit that. 

but back to faith. to me it means to believe and hope in things that you know to be true even though there is nothing tangible to explain why. i've never seen Jesus. but i know that he lived and died for me on the cross. i know that he loved me so much, that he suffered for all the sins i will commit in my lifetime so i can make them right again. i know this. i've experienced it. and i know despite all my shortcomings, he loves me. 

i've never seen Heavenly Father. but i know that he is there with a bigger plan for me than i could ever even begin to hope for. and i know that in my times of weakness or trials if i lean on him he will make up for where i fall short. i know that he has given me many tools to help me know what is right and what is wrong so that when trials and temptation come my way, i'll be able to recognize it and make the right choices. 

i have really learned what it means to have faith and how much it pays off in the end. i wont go into detail because i know i talked about it on my other blog, but bottom line, i knew at one point that i needed to move back to nebraska. i knew i needed to make things right in my life. and i knew that i wanted to want it. i wanted to want to go back to church and feel that joy and peace. but i just didn't want to stop what i was doing and i know that heavenly father knew that i wouldn't be able to do it alone. and the spirit whispered to me all the things i needed to do at a time i probably wasn't doing anything worth deserving any guidance. but like i said, Heavenly Father has a bigger plan for me than i could ever have for myself. and so on my faith, i moved home, and i have worked my butt off to be a good person, to live a life worthy to go into the beautiful temple, to be a good example so i can share my story of being lost and found. and in return, i have been blessed so immensely! i have more mental strength than i have ever had before. i am so much stronger now than i could have ever even hoped for. i know that Heavenly Father has helped me out in the times i fall short. but most importantly, i have faith now. i know that if i do all that i can and have faith in Him he will never lead me astray. and i know that if i strive to live a Christ-like life; a life full of love, forgiveness, charity and understanding, that i will be blessed with joy beyond belief. i just know i need to have faith the same way that Nephi did. believing in spite of everything because you know it in your heart to be true. there is no unhappy ending if you follow down a road of faith. :)