okay okay. so it's been a couple months.

like always with my forgetful mind, it just doesn't always occur to me to write on my blog. but today i just felt this overwhelming urge to write. 

every year at the beginning i set a goal for myself for the year. and i have to say for the last 5 years or so i have actually held to it. some of my past goals were to gain a testimony of the book of mormon. the year after that was to find joy in the journey of life and not focus so much much on what did or didn't happen. and last year my goal was to make myself whole spiritually again. not for anyone but myself. and let me tell you.. i worked HARD! now the last month or so i have been slacking a little bit and luckily over the course of the last couple days i've gotten the kick that i needed. :)

okay now to unleash my goal for this year. i want to prove to myself that i CAN. i want to start something and actually push myself to finish it. i want to take the road less travelled for once. and honestly i am a little scared. it actually gives me a little anxiety to think about reaching beyond my comfort zone! but i need to do this. whether it is getting into some real shape and making a healthy lifestyle change as far as eating. (even though i don't really eat that bad, i just really love carbonated drinks and gummy bears.) or to finally FINISH my degree at chool. or to finally finish paying off my stupid burden of a student loan! i just need to finish something! this new year goal didn't come to me right off the bat, it actually has just really hit me the last couple of days or so. but i know i need to do it. i know that i am the worst of not doing or doing the complete opposite of everything i say i am going to do, so i'm not going to make any definite decisions. i'm just gonna chunk away at everything a little bit at a time. i'm making plans in my head of my attack technique for each of those things. but i am promising myself that by this time next year, at least one of those things IS going to be done. 

it's all about faith and believing in yourself and remembering that heavenly father believes in you too. 

i would like to thank my mom for getting me hopelessly addicted to pinterest. because everyday i get on there i feel just so motivated to make some changes! if i take it a day at a time and not think about tomorrow or yesterday i can do this. just think about today jess. you need to set little goals and accomplish them before you can tackle the big things. i just know that now that i've worked on myself spiritually, it's time to pay attention to myself mentally and physically. i'm going to do this. you can do it jess! :)